The misadventures of Batgirl

Squirrels are great. This is a fact. Whether they are frantically trying to find the nuts they buried last autumn or hibernating in your walls and frightening small children squirrels are ace. One afternoon at my in-laws I watched an agitated squirrel sit on a fence and proceed to what can only be interpreted as bitching another squirrel out. I was transfixed; that little guy meant business. Sadly since our neighbourhood is overrun by the feline equivalent of the BNP there are no squirrels in my garden ever. It also doesn't help that all the trees are so small.

One thing I found fascinating about being homeless in Toronto was the squirrels. The little buggers were everywhere. They were jet black with scruffy tails. I still can't decide if they are cute or creepy.

One day homeless Bob and I visited one of the homeless drop-in shelters. For anyone who may find themselves homeless in Toronto it was the drop-in that mainly served hookers and trannies at 416 Dundas St. Neither homeless Bob nor myself were hookers or transvestites but they let you take naps there and sometimes had the Pac-Man cereal with the little marshmallow ghosts. I liked going there for the cereal though I worry Homeless Bob liked to make eyes at the hookers and trannies.

On one occasion they were out of Pac-Man cereal but they did have these health food cereal bars. They gave us the box and since it was a nice day Homeless Bob and I went for a walk in the park to enjoy our picnic of health food bars and stale muffins. When we arrived the park looked like the squirrel version of Night of the Living Dead. They were everywhere. I know that beggars can't be choosers but these particular health food bars were nasty. Since they were donated to us we couldn't return them and risk seeming ungrateful nor could we bear the thought of throwing them away.

We figured the only solution would be to see if the squirrels would eat them. And eat them they did. They feckin loved the health food bars! I was surprised at this since most urban critters seem to prefer fast food from generations of dumpster diving. Not these squirrels; they devoured the whole box and we had a fun time throwing bits of health food in the direction of people and watching the squirrels scramble after it to the disgust of others. It was almost like having a squirrel army for ten minutes. It was a great ten minutes even if we spent the rest of the day hungry.